Desperate Times
by Akula Wolf on Oct 1, 2008 1:25 PM EDT
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*Picks up phone, dials.*
*Phone rings, goes to voicemail.*"Na na na na na na na na fishing. Na na na na na na na
na fishing. Fish-ing! Fish-ing! Fish-ing! Hi, you've reached Lee F--"
*Hangs up in disgust.* "Typical. Well, I guess that leaves..."
Conte Forum, Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts*Phone rings.*
"Super Awesome Happy Fun Department, Head Funmaster DeFilippo speaking."*Holds receiver in front of face, stares at it for a second.* "Uh, maybe I dialed the wrong...""That you, Tom?""Oh, yeah, hi, Gene, I wanted to maybe ask you a favor."*Sighs.* "Man, why is it you harsh my vibe every time I talk to you? Hold on a second."*Opens office window, dives head first into adjoining tube slide, lands in ball pit.*
*25 minutes later*
"You were saying?""I got this thing where all of my good players are hurt and I have a bit of a coldand I just was thinking we could skip our game this weekend."
*Line goes dead.*
"So maybe that was a long shot."
*Watching TV in dorm room; USF game highlights come on.* "Shit."*Wings football at TV, football flies over TV, crashes through window.
Car alarm sounds, woman screams.*
Car alarm sounds, woman screams.*
"Oh man it's on every channel!"
*Phone rings.*
"They go for it?""No, didn't buy it. You remember our discussion?""About how I am to go downtown against Boston College all afternoon? Bomb the shit out of them like I did last year? God we have fun, don't we, coach?"*Hangs up, chugs bottle of whiskey, buries head in hands, weeps softly.*
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