ESPN's Anonymous NCAA Basketball Coaching Survey

This is such a fun read that, between all the quotables and the creeper Sean Miller photo, I'm having trouble deciding which part I like best.

So why, then, do most people think college basketball is like the Wild Wild West, full of outlaws and renegades?

Backstabbing.

"Here's what I think happens a lot -- a team loses a kid to someone else and all of a sudden that someone else is cheating. Every time North Carolina loses a kid, someone else is cheating. It's like there's so much arrogance with them; they can't believe someone would rather go somewhere else, so the other team has to be cheating.''

Hold on a second here. Is this gentleman implying there's a pervasive sense of entitlement at UNC? 

As for the dirtiest [league], despite Mike Slive's best efforts to clean up the image, the Southeastern Conference was easily perceived as the worst, with three coaches partnering the SEC with the Big East and another tossing in the Big 12 (one coach went league-by-league, counting up schools).

I'd sure like to see that guy's list.

"We have the NCAA gestapettes around here like World Cup officials,'' one coach said, referring to the NCAA representatives -- most of whom are women -- who monitor the summer circuit. "You smile at a kid, they give you a yellow card. Do it twice, it's a red card and you're off the road.''

[snip]

As noted earlier, almost all of the NCAA investigators are women and they are policing a man's game. That doesn't go unnoticed by the coaches, nor does it help the investigators get taken seriously all the time.

Along with the coach who called the women, "the gestapettes," another said, "If the NCAA was serious, they'd hire someone who knew what they were doing, not these women out here trying to get a husband.''

Love how this part drips with Eastwood-in-Gran-Torino old man rage. INSTEAD OF BUSTIN' MY BALLS LADY WHY DON'T YOU MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL AND GET ME A BEER.