Michael Rocco Is A Tree, Fruitless And Free
by Akula Wolf on Oct 20, 2011 2:42 PM EDT
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PrintIs Mike London's team preparing for the Stanley Cup playoffs or a football game this weekend? It's difficult to tell based on their injury report:
Probable
Redshirt sophomore offensive guard Luke Bowanko (lower extremity)
Redshirt freshman linebacker Henry Coley (lower extremity)
Senior defensive end Cam Johnson (lower extremity)
Redshirt freshman tight end Jake McGee (lower extremity)
Freshman tailback Clifton Richardson (lower extremity)
When I hear "lower extremity," I immediately think little toe. Maybe these dudes are all really bad at taking stairs. I'm not sure what's up with quarterback Michael Rocco, though.
Probable
Sophomore quarterback Michael Rocco (trunk)
Either that's a subtle dig at his lack of mobility or their quarterback is a tree. I plan on getting to the bottom of this by going back through some film to see if any squirrel nests go flying off him when he gets hit.
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This
was one of the funniest opponent posts I’ve seen in a long time. Well done.
Also, the switch to the hockey injury report style happened this year, and it’s completely useless for those of us trying to either (a) determine what exactly was injured or (b) confirm whether the quarterback is man or tree. One might say that’s part of our game plan… one might also say it doesn’t work, apparently.
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by Brian J. Leung on Oct 23, 2011 12:25 AM EDT reply actions
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