Randy Edsall is off to a rough start at Maryland, as he remembered to bring the boring from UConn but forgot the modest winning. But you know how it is. One minute you're in the Fiesta Bowl and the next you're in College Park using the phrase "dream job." Obviously there were a number of oversights.

Edsall's way of doing things hasn't really taken hold at his new program yet, and the players have failed to buy into his trite motivational techniques. (The pyramid is over, coaches. Here's what you should be pondering: what is the Chip Kelly of shapes? And what the hell did the parallelogram ever do to you people, anyway?)

In the team house, Edsall said, one of the first things players see every day is a pyramid that emphasizes core values and goals. Called "Gaining Results Through Teamwork," the pyramid at the top emphasizes wins, bowl games, championships and graduation.

"But you just can’t go from the ground floor to the top floor without doing the process along the way," Edsall said. "And the process along the way is about team, about trust, belief, buy into. That’s the foundation, the first level of the pyramid."

What do you think this is, son, the Luxor? Now get out my kitchen, Coach E's gotta mix some more metaphors for today's presser.

Hey, does this look like... oh my god, run, Mario!!!!