Welcome to your ACC Tweets of the Week post, where we highlight the funniest stuff said in 140 characters or less, about any and everything related to ACC Sports.
Simmer down, people, I'm back. I spent last week at the beach with the little toes, and here I sit, rested and relaxed. Actually, a little bored. I mean, am I the only one who can't stand more than 3 or 4 days tops at the beach? Miss L Toe and the little toes could stay there for a lifetime, but not me. No way. Cheese and Crackers man, I hate that place.
Now I know what you're thinking. This guy is some kind of commie! He's un-American! No, that's not it at all. I am a curmudgeon, sure, but I am as patriotic as anybody. Before I get off on a tangent, let me explain myself.
Stuff is expensive at the beach. Food. Gas. Everything. No wonder the locals hate the visitors. I wonder if the prices go back down in the Winter? The beds are lumpy. The sand is hot. The water is salty. The traffic is terrible. The locals hate you. Did I mention that stuff is expensive? Oh yeah, the locals hate you.
Now if your missusses are like my missus, they could spend all day down there. And, if you have chaps, well, you know all too well what a hassle a day at the beach can be. Something along the lines of...
Lather them up with sunblock. Load up the chairs, towels, tents, cooler, shovels, pails, rafts, surfboards, boogie boards, kites, and whatever else you could just enjoy in the comfort and AC of your hotel room. Pack mule it down to the elevator, wait 5 minutes. Hump it across 2 parking lots, and a quarter mile of scorching sand to find that perfect spot. Set up the tent. Lather up the kids again. Set a chair under the tent. Lather up yourself with sunblock. Grab a beer from the cooler, which slips out of your coconut scented hand. Grab another one. Lather up the kid again. Go "play in the water" for a minute while you pee. Go back to the chair, get salt water All. Over. Everything. Lather up the kids again. This is about the time that one of the kids starts whining about being hungry or tired. Time to tear down, and haul all that crap back up to the room. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Next year, I'm hiring a Sherpa.
I have to admit it, I didn't spend a whole lot of time scouring Twitter over the last 2 weeks. Not to worry, though. Now that I am back at work, I will be able to dedicate a much larger portion of my time to entertaining you, the readers of BTP. Let's dig in, shall we?
Just drop back and punt NCAA. And I don't mean like State and Clemson in 2010. A legitimate one.— Joe Wagstaff (@Joe_Wagstaff) July 17, 2012
If someone did a public records request for Paul Johnson’s playbook, it would be a word doc through gmail and not exceed the file size limit— Ben Swain (@thedevilwolf) July 17, 2012
And, do we call the players from Syracuse just "Orange" as in "Orange center Fab Melo was ruled ineligible."— Adam Rowe (@DukeHoopBlog) July 19, 2012
@akulawolf ECU is really looking forward to their share of that cash. Oh wait.— Vann (@tvpearce) July 19, 2012
#uncscandal More redactions arroving soon— NotAFanOfBlue (@NotAFanOfBlue) July 18, 2012