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ACC Suck Index

For years now, some "people" have implied that ACC football sucks. Maybe this will be the year to end that talk? Not so fast, my friend! With a quick look at the updated ACC Suck Index, you can find out how much Suck there is in the ACC at the moment. (Hint: A lot.) When NC State punts 83 times against Connecticut, and still rates in the top five, somebody is really sucking.

ACC SUCK INDEX - September 2012

1. Schedule Sucks - Florida State. The plan to conquer America begins with the states of Murray and Savannah.
2. You Do Remember They Gave Up 70 Points in the Orange Bowl? - Clemson will need a while to remove all of that suck
3. Tarnished with Suck by Association - Virginia Tech might not suck, but simply being in the same stadium as Pitt will make it seem like they do.
4. Quarterback Sucks - Georgia Tech longs for the days when they could complete eight passes in a game. Paul Johnson says that losing the season-opener in overtime sucks, but you suck more.
5. Always Suck in September - T.O.B. keeping N.C. State firmly on his A.S.S. plan. In the Wolfpack’s favor - O’Brien is 9-1 after a loss since 2010, which is nearly twice as many bounce-back wins as Chris Petersen has in his whole career. Take that, Boise!
6. You May Still Suck, Even Though You Won - Virginia needed four missed PSU field goals, a missed PAT, and a last-minute comeback to beat the corpse of Penn State, which is not impressive.
7. "Come From Behind Against Liberty" Sucks - Wake Forest
8. (Whole Lotta Suck) - (Suck that was Lost) = Still Sucks: Duke, making a strong bid toward ACC mediocrity. If you suck long enough, you can pull the pack back to you.
9. Defense Sucks - Miami, giving up 42 points per game. And still beat BC.
10. Everything About It Sucks - Besides losing to Miami, and needing the whole first half to get going against Maine, Boston College is a college sports program in Boston.
11. Randy Edsall’s Pyramid of Suck-cess - Maryland keeping it exciting, not scoring for three quarters before beating William & Mary by one, then almost blows a 23-point lead against Temple. This is the worst 2-0 team ever.
12 - 13. Future Suck
Syracuse - An inverse Maryland, they might be pretty good for an 0-2 team. But they are still Syracuse, and still part of the Big East brand equity, and both of those things suck.
Pittsburgh - not precisely accurate, as they currently suck in an extreme way. But accurate enough, as we can be pretty sure they will suck in the future.
Always Last. Carolina Sucks - With the loss of Julius Nyang’oro, it may be impossible for UNC to improve on its abysmal S.P.A. (Suck Point Average).

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