Here are the Pack alum's performances (sporadically infused with random bits of other goodies) from week nine of the NFL season. Players are listed in alphabetical order as not to offend anyone; please hold your applause until the end of the presentation.
David Amerson (‘13/2nd): Amerson picked fellow Pack alum Philip Rivers (now, now David!) in the fourth quarter, leading to a field goal that put the Skins (3-5) up by two scores with seven minutes left. Rivers would rally the Chargers (4-4) to force overtime, but Washington prevailed 30-24. Amerson's interception was his second as a pro, and his six tackles matched a career high. Suddenly the Skins are just 1.5 games behind the Cowboys (5-4) in a division that can probably be had with nine wins.
Audie Cole (‘12/7th): The Cowboys needed a late touchdown--as in 35 seconds to go late--to drop the Vikings to 1-7. Cole was a DNP for the second time this season in the 27-23 loss, the Vikes' fourth straight.
Jerricho Cotchery (‘04/4th): Cotchery caught three touchdowns for the first time in his career as he continues to exceed expectations at age 31. Unfortunately, after Cotch's second TD evened the score at 24, the Patriots (7-2) outscored the Steelers (2-6) 31-7 over the final 17:32 to win going away, 55-31. Cotchery caught seven balls for 96 yards for the game and has 424 yards and five scores on the season. He needs just one more TD grab to match his career high set way back in 2006 with the Jets.
Mike Glennon (‘13/3rd): Glennon completed 10 of his first 11 throws and threw for 124 yards and two TDs in leading Tampa to a 21-7 halftime lead (on the road!) (against the league's best defense!!). I think it's safe to say that the Bucs have their franchise quarterback, as Glennon jumped ahead of names like Tom Brady, Alex Smith, and RG III in QB rating with his performance. The rookie has an impressive 8-to-3 TD-to-INT ratio and hasn't thrown a pick in three starts.
Alas, while his overall line (17/23 for 168 yards) was solid, especially considering the circumstances (on the road!) (against the league's best defense!!), Glennon's numbers fell off precipitously in the second half and overtime (7/12, 44 yards, no TDs, sacked twice), allowing Seattle (8-1) to stage the biggest comeback in franchise history. Steven Hauschka booted the game-winner in overtime for the Seahawks, bolstering their hopes for home field advantage throughout the playoffs and bumping the Bucs to 0-8.
I am blaming Greg Schiano for letting the lead slip away by getting too conservative in the second half because blaming Schiano is kind of the thing to do these days. Glennon surely would have gone for 300 yards and the win had he been allowed to cut it loose!
T.J. Graham (‘12/3rd): Rough, rough Sunday for T.J., as he caught just one ball and promptly coughed it up for a scoop and score that broke a fourth-quarter tie. The Chiefs (9-0) went on to beat the Bills (3-6) 23-13 to remain the only undefeated team in the NFL. Buffalo has had a rough first nine games but its next six opponents have a combined record of 13-36, so the Bills have a genuine shot to rally to 9-6 in time for a season-ending tilt against a Pats' team that will likely have already clinched a playoff spot. You never know.
Leroy Harris (‘07/4th): Detroit had a bye, sparing Harris the indignity of being on the inactive list yet again.
Steven Hauschka (‘08/UDFA): Hauschka's game-winner was one of two three-pointers against the Bucs. He's fourth in the NFL with 18 field goals and sixth with a 94.7% success rate.
Nate Irving (‘11/3rd): Irving took advantage of the bye week to come home and watch his alma mater lose its rivalry game.
Markus Kuhn (‘12/7th): The Giants have until Thursday to figure out what to do with Kuhn (roster him, release him, or PUP him for the year). Knee-hurt Shaun Rogers may go to make room for him.
Ted Larsen (‘10/6th): Larsen again shared time with Jeremy Zuttah at center, with Zuttah getting the starting nod. I am pretty sure I saw Larsen prone on the ground after a diving whiff at a Glennon-sacking guy, but surely he had already pancaked his guy and was diving to try to help out a beaten teammate when the sack occurred. Yeah, that's probably it.
Manny Lawson (‘06/1st): Lawson returned from his hammy strain and made three tackles, including one for a loss, in the Bills' loss to the Chiefs.
Terrell Manning (‘12/5th): Practice squading it.
Tobais Palmer (‘12/UDFA): Justin Blackmon is suspended until the end of ever for his umpteenth "drug of abuse" violation, so maybe the Jags (0-8) will give Palmer's agent a call? Palmer's workout with the Chargers didn't land him any work, so he's available to return to the team that originally practice-squaded him.
Philip Rivers (‘04/1st): Oh, Phil. One freakin' yard from victory, man. One yard. After Danny Woodhead's would-be game-winning touchdown was reversed, the Chargers failed thrice on goal-to-go from the one, eventually settling for a game-tying field goal. They lost in OT (as you know if you have been reading this whole thing. And shame on you, you Rivers lovers, if you just skip to the Phil part). Rivers did plenty of good in the game, including leading the Chargers from down 10 to tied over the last 4:10 of the game, but ultimately he and the Chargers fell one yard short.
Rivers completed 29 of 46 throws for 341 yards and two scores, giving him 17 TDs on the season, good for fourth in the league. He's also fourth with a 309-yard-per-game average. But, if not for the two picks he threw Sunday, the Chargers likely win. Despite the loss, the Chargers are just a half game behind the 5-4 J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets for the final playoff spot in the AFC. The Jets have a winning record? Wha?
J.R. Sweezy (‘12/7th): The ‘hawks pummeled the Bucs for 198 yards on the ground and Russell's jersey remained clean a week after he was sacked 214 times against the Rams, so Sweezy's unit gets an A+ and a get-out-of-jail-free-after-punching-a-bus-driver card for this week's effort. Seattle's D, on the other hand, may have taken Tampa a tad lightly, as Mike James went for 158 of the Bucs' 205 rushing yards (and threw for a TD on some trickeration). Glennon's awesome is opening up the run game and the running back pass game, apparently.
Mario Williams ('06/ 1st): It may be time to take down the sack-tracker, as Mario was held sackless Sunday against KC, dropping him behind Strahan-record-breaking pace. He's still second in the league with 11 sacks, just 0.5 behind Robert Mathis for the league lead.
Adrian Wilson (‘01/3rd): Wilson is still languishing on the Pats' IR.
Russell Wilson (‘12/3rd): Wilson's stat line doesn't tell the whole story--not that 19-for-26 for 217 yards and a pair of scores is a bad stat line--but it's what he did in the fourth quarter of the Pack Alum Super Bowl that really stands out. On the game-tying TD drive, Wilson was perfect, connecting on all three of his throws for 40 yards and a touchdown to Doug Baldwin. Two weeks ago the offensive line got abused but Russ found a way; last weekend the defense took the first half off but Russ led ‘em back. Marshawn Lynch took over in OT, going 44 yards on six carries to set up Hauschka for the Schiano-soul-crushing field goal.
C.J. Wilson (‘13/UDFA): Wilson has been cut and resigned to the practice squad. Insert grumpy cat meme here. (By the way, I didn't forget to insert grumpy cat meme. Simply writing "insert grumpy cat meme here" but not actually inserting grumpy cat is the whole joke. Hilarious, amirite?)
Earl Wolff (‘13/5th): A week after not managing an offensive touchdown, the Eagles (4-5) got seven sevens, all from the arm of Nick Foles, because...Eagles? I don't know. This is the most Jekyll and Hyde team ever. Ah, but the one constant is rookie Earl Wolff. Wolff's gonna get you five tackles every Sunday, you better damn believe it, and for added bonus he added two passes defended in the 49-20 romp over Oakland. Wolff surely leads all rookie safeties in tackles and PDs on the season, but I have not actually confirmed this with any research, so just take my word for it.
Willie Young (‘10/7th): After the Detroit bye week, Willie will be setting his sights on a gimpy Jay Cutler, who vows to return early from a groin tear, or a surprisingly effective Josh McCown, who passed the Bears past the Packers on MNF.
AND NOW THE MUCH ANTICIPATED ALWAYS APPRECIATED ALL CAP INTRODUCED BTP GAME BALL OF THE WEEK GOES TO...
Mr. Russell Wilson.
Amerson had a pick in a win, but in light of his name showing up in the Eric Leak annoyance, he has been forever banned from ever receiving the BTP Game Ball again and all of his college interception records have been stricken from the unofficial BTP record books. Hopefully this severe self-imposed penalty by a blog that is in no way actually officially associated with North Carolina State University will curry the favor of the NCAA, thus sparing the athletics program the dreaded LOIC charge it does not in any way deserve anyway due to this overblown, overhyped nothing of a dadgum story that is like over a year old at this point anyfuckingway.
Russell has engineered three comeback wins this year, including Sunday's biggest comeback in franchise history, to go with four game-winning drives (that would be drives in the fourth quarter or OT that put his team up for good). As the band geeks say, "Nuff said."