Here are the Pack alum's performances (sporadically infused with random bits of other facts and whatnot) from week 15 of the NFL season. Players are listed in alphabetical order as not to offend anyone; please hold your applause until the end of the presentation. And, as always, please fill us in on all the stuff I missed in the comments section. Without you, there is no us.
Zach Allen (‘13/UDFA): Allen's NFL dream remains alive; he's signed on with Indy's practice squad. Now we'll get to hear a little about the Colts (9-5) each week. They decimated the defunct Texans (2-12) 25-3 on Sunday. Okay, this really isn't about the Colts, but when the Chargers (7-7) miss the playoffs by a game they're going to look back at their loss to Houston and cringe. Of course, after they started 2-0, no one really knew just how bad the Texans would implode.
David Amerson (‘13/2nd): The Redskins' draft position gets a little better every week. Amerson had three tackles in the 27-26 loss to Atlanta (4-10). The Skins dropped to 3-11 as Kirk Cousins turned it over three times (two INTs and one fumble).
Andre Brown (‘09/4th): After Seattle's defense got embarrassed by Frank Gore the week before, it was a bad week to be the tailback going up against them on Sunday. Brown managed just 17 yards on 11 carries plus a scant nine more on four catches as the G-Men (5-9) were shutout 23-0.
Audie Cole (‘12/7th): The Vikings (4-9-1) are 2-1-1 since Cole was inserted into the starting lineup and put a dent in Philly's playoff hopes with a 48-30 win at Mall of America Field Sunday. Cole had seven stops and a QB hit against the Eagles (8-6).
Jerricho Cotchery (‘04/4th): The Steelers (6-8) continued their up and down merry-go-round season and kept Baltimore (8-6) very much alive in the race for the AFC North title by blasting the Bengals (9-5) 30-20 Sunday at Heinz Field. Cotchery contributed little to the win, as he was targeted just three times and finished with one catch for two yards. The Ravens already have a win in hand over the Bengals and close the season in Cincy.
Mike Glennon (‘13/3rd): The Niners (10-4) won their fourth in a row, and while Glennon's numbers didn't look overly impressive, he did have his team in position to snap San Fran's streak in the fourth quarter before an Eric Page-inspired implosion doomed the Bucs (4-10) down the stretch. Glennon's 24-yard strike to Tim Wright brought Tampa to within 20-14, but San Fran finished the game with 13 unanswered points thanks in large part to Page's inane decision making. Page brought a kick out from deep in his end zone with his team down just seven points, fumbled just beyond the goal line, and watched helplessly as the 49ers scooped and scored to put the game away.
Glennon was 18-for-34 for 179 yards and two scores; he was picked once and got no help from a running game that generated just 39 yards.
T.J. Graham (‘12/3rd): With two more targets and zero more receptions, Buffalo QBs have found Graham on less than 40% (39.1%, to be exact) of his targets. As he is not being utilized in the return game, one wonders if his roster spot will be in jeopardy next year.
Leroy Harris (‘07/4th): Harris kept his inactive streak alive Sunday.
Steven Hauschka (‘08/UDFA): Hauschka drilled three more field goals in Seattle's win over the Giants, bringing his season total to 30 (good for a tie for third most in the league). He's still just had one errant try; Hauschka's 96.8% success rate is tied for the league lead with the Jets' Nick Folk.
Nate Irving (‘11/3rd): Irving was in on 24 snaps, all but one of which came on special teams, in Thursday's 27-20 loss to the Chargers. He did not record a tackle. The loss drops the Broncos (11-3) into a tie with the Chiefs (11-3) atop the AFC West (and in the race for home field throughout the playoffs), but Denver holds the tiebreaker by virtue of its sweep over KC in the regular season. The Bolts have now beaten both Denver and KC...and they're just .500 overall.
Markus Kuhn (‘12/7th): Mr. Kuhn has a stat! He recorded his first tackle of the season Sunday.
Ted Larsen (‘10/6th): I erroneously wrote that Larsen was only in on special teams last week only to realize that I was looking at the snaps from week 13 later on (as in like five minutes ago)...Larsen was actually in on 26 offensive snaps in week 14 for the Bucs. My apologies to him and his family. Unfortunately, he was in on just two special teams plays against San Fran. Make up your mind, Greg Schiano.
Manny Lawson (‘06/1st): Lawson recorded his fourth sack of the season and registered three total tackles in the Bills' 27-20 win over the Jaguars (4-10). Wait, the Jags have won four games? When did that happen? The Bills (5-9) finish with Miami (8-6) and New England (10-4), so they may yet play some sort of spoilerish role, as neither the Fins or the Pats have yet to officially sew up a playoff spot (though New England is pretty much a lock - it's really playing for a first-round bye). Miami needs to win out and have the Ravens lose or split their final two games...or have Cincinnati lose out...or New England lose out...oh shit it's all very confusing.
Terrell Manning (‘12/5th): Manning remains on the Bolts' practice squad.
Tobais Palmer (‘12/UDFA): Palmer remains on the Bolts' practice squad.
Philip Rivers (‘04/1st): The Bolts have wins at Denver and Kansas City and a home winner over Cincinnati, but they lost to Houston and Washington. WTF, Phil? That loss to Miami really stings as well. And apparently the theme this week is "what could have been" for San Diego.
Of course you really can't pin any of the losses on Rivers (if we overlook that pick six in week one), who has been great. He was an efficient 12-for-20 for 166 yards and two scores in the win at Denver. That's not a ton of yardage, but he moved the chains (SD was 6-for-12 on third down) and executed the Bolts' milk the clock strategy to perfection. San Diego held the ball for nearly 39 minutes Thursday night. Peyton Manning can't hurt you from the sidelines.
The Bolts have Oakland (4-10) and KC at home to close the season and must win out and get a lot of help to sneak into the playoffs.
J.R. Sweezy (‘12/7th): Russell Wilson took seven hits (not including rushing plays) against the Giants, so Sweezy's unit gets an F- this week. Seattle did pound the ball on the ground 34 times for 134 yards and a score.
Stephen Tulloch (‘06/4th): The Lions (7-7) are officially in free fall mode, losing their fourth of five games to drop from first to third in the NFC North. The MNF loss came on a 61-yard field goal after the Ravens woefully mismanaged the clock and ran a damn draw on third and 10 when they were
clearly not in field goal range apparently in Justin Tucker's ridiculously long field-goal range. Tucker accounted for all of Baltimore's scoring with six trifectas in the 18-16 win. Tulloch did what Tulloch does nearly every game, lead his team in tackles. He had eight and also made a hit on Joe Flacco.
Mario Williams ('06/ 1st): Buffalo registered five sacks. I credit all sacks to Super Mario since he often commands a double team, though technically he didn't actually record a sack in this one. He did have three tackles, including one behind the line, and he was also credited with a pass defended and a QB hit.
Adrian Wilson (‘01/3rd): Wilson is still languishing on the Pats' IR. I'm pretty sure he is a perfectly healthy victim of some Belichick roster malfeasance. #freeadrian
Russell Wilson (‘12/3rd): Wilson, being the solid human he is, probably felt for his counterpart, Eli Manning, as he watched Peyton's bro toss five picks Sunday. E. Manning is up to a league-high 25 boo boos on the year.
Wilson, meanwhile, was his normal efficient self, completing 18 of 27 throws for 206 yards with a touchdown...though he did toss one INT. He has a 24-8 TD-INT ratio on the year. Oh, and he was the game's leading rusher with 50 yards on eight carries.
C.J. Wilson (‘13/UDFA): The Bears (8-6) find themselves in first place and can lock up the division with a win and a Green Bay loss + a Detroit loss or tie when they take on Earl's Eagles Sunday night. Wilson is right there on the practice squad if they need him.
Earl Wolff (‘13/5th): Wolff was out yet again last Sunday, but it's looking like he will return from his knee injury in time to try to defend Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery. Yikes. The Eagles are a game up on the Boys in the NFC East but lost the first head-to-head matchup with Dallas and have a worse record in the division, so they really need to win out to ensure a playoff berth.
Willie Young (‘10/7th): Young's nice season continued with four more stops on MNF, including a tackle for a loss. He also had a pass defended. He is sixth on the team in tackles and second among linemen even though he doesn't start.
AND NOW THE MUCH ANTICIPATED ALWAYS APPRECIATED ALL CAP INTRODUCED ANDRE BROWN LIVING MEMORIAL GAME BALL OF THE WEEK GOES TO...
This thing has gotten too QB-centric of late, so let's give it to the guy that, despite missing a game due to injury, needs just three tackles to set a new career high in his eighth year in the league. Lawson also has three sacks in his last four games, bringing his season total to four, the second most he's ever had. Lawson dragged down 6.5 QBs for the Niners in 2009. Poor, poor half a QB.