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Sometimes It Is All Too Much

Seth Davis penned this annoying article today, which offers more of the lazy, knee-jerk perspective that has been displayed by far too many in the national media. 'Preciate it, Seth.

As Penn Jillette would say, "and then there's this asshole:"

Carolina fans well served by IdiotStix:

We're very sorry, pretzels & prawns, but we take back all the nice things we said about Carolina and the Hurricanes.

We were wrong. Hockey doesn't belong in Carolina because the fans and the people who run the Hurricanes organization are a bunch of lobotomized basketball-loving cretins who wouldn't know an icing call from a spear to the ribs.

They don't deserve Eric Staal, they don't deserve Erik Cole, they don't deserve Rod Brind'Amour, they don't deserve Cam Ward - but they do deserve a shot of tobacco juice right in the eye.

Why? Because last night, the RBC Centre (may an earthquake swallow it up) became Carolina's version of hell on Earth. Why? Because the powers that be in their infinite stupidity decided to pass out IdiotStix to the crowd.

There is nothing in the world of sport that is worse than IdiotStix (also known as ThunderStix to whatever marketing type dreamed them up, and may he spend eternity listening to Roseanne's version of the U.S. anthem.) IdiotStix are worse than Barry Bonds, worse than the sound system at the Bell Centre, worse than Don Cherry, worse than Nick Kypreos, worse than Stompin' Tom.

Worse than the Maple Leafs.

Look, I don't like the ThunderThingies (and actually, the ones they distributed last night were called BamBams--so there!) either, but Jesus Christ, dude. You were comfortably ensconced in press row all night; it's not like you had to sit among them.

Given the choice between having to hear ThunderStix all game long or that lame "Ole! Ole-Ole-Ole! Oleeeeeee! Oleeeeee!" song that Habs fans always sing, I'd take the Stix every time.

My man had to go and talk about the Stix (such was his level of ire! His irkeditude! His perturbosity!) in another article, too:

They unleashed the IdiotStix in North Carolina last night, turning what has been a good hockey crowd into a bunch of 3-year-olds in need of a bucket of Ritalin.

Pity, because the fans who were too busy bashing their ThunderStix to watch missed a pretty terrific playoff hockey game.

With another full house at an RBC Centre jammed not with appreciative hockey fans but with thundersticking yahoos, the Canadiens could not match goals with the surging Carolina Hurricanes, who took a 3-2 series lead with a hard-fought 2-1 win.

I don't suppose anyone has Jack Todd's home address. I've got some unused BamBams with his name on 'em.

Please please please please let them hand out ThunderStix at the Bell Centre tomorrow night.