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The Anagrammed NC State Football Preview

A tip of the cap goes to the Humbug Journal for providing inspiration. See if you can decipher who's who...

With the preseason all but over and game week upon us, the coaches must say Adios Merry Sleep. They are hoping to be aided by a different kind of Entry Talk.

A Macho Tuck remains defiant, though gone are the flashy shoes, shades, and, according to the latest depth chart, the Absurd Ivy Coat.

The strength of the offense is its running game, so a hard-nosed and simplified style will be utilized in 2006. Now, Bland Does make sense. I do not like that Darned Style, but the team does what it must. The Contuse Arms return, and so too do the Brawn Drone and Bakery Note. The team will rely on Dark Bellman Carl and Only Thin Hal to catch the ball and do so consistently. With a bit of luck and the services of a Rare Holy Sir, it is hoped that the offensive line's performance will be solid and not warrant cries of "Oh, Curt Circus!" More than a Meagre Sneer has been directed at the line this offseason.

A Dig Gave Rise to some position changes, and now several players find themselves in different places. It is a Legit Custom.

Along the defensive line, much rests on he who Demoralises Prey. Will the Town Tilt Lighter, inspired by the showing of the new players? We hope for but Paltry Woe, though the chances of that always seem small.

Java Sid anchors the secondary, hoping to prove he's no Heartland Hag. This unit should act as A Level Inn for the defense, but watch out for that Damn Guano Jar.

Although new tailgating restrictions will implore the masses to Help Rue Rum, and although the team may not be very good, Wolfpack fans will not be discouraged. We'll go out of curiosity if nothing else, a Red Veil Luring. Should 2006 begin with promise and eventually fall apart, we will react without surprise. "As usual," we'll say, "they were But Jerkin Us around."

[All player names taken from the depth chart.]