| Category | Per Game | Nat'l Rank | Rank Change |
| Rushing Offense | 59.0 | 96 | n/a |
| Passing Offense | 74.0 | 108 | n/a |
| Total Offense | 133.0 | 108 | n/a |
| Scoring Offense | 3.0 | 106 | n/a |
| Category | Per Game | Nat'l Rank | Rank Change |
| Rushing Defense | 108.0 | 57 | n/a |
| Passing Defense | 148.0 | 35 | n/a |
| Total Defense | 236.0 | 34 | n/a |
| Scoring Defense | 7.0 | 23 | n/a |
"Final thoughts, coach?"
"Yeeaarghhhh!!!" *flips table over, throws chair at camera, runs crying back to office*
"Yep. Not nearly enough guns were slinged."