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Michael Rocco Is A Tree, Fruitless And Free

Is Mike London's team preparing for the Stanley Cup playoffs or a football game this weekend? It's difficult to tell based on their injury report:

Probable

Redshirt sophomore offensive guard Luke Bowanko (lower extremity)

Redshirt freshman linebacker Henry Coley (lower extremity)

Senior defensive end Cam Johnson (lower extremity)

Redshirt freshman tight end Jake McGee (lower extremity)

Freshman tailback Clifton Richardson (lower extremity)

When I hear "lower extremity," I immediately think little toe. Maybe these dudes are all really bad at taking stairs. I'm not sure what's up with quarterback Michael Rocco, though.

Probable

Sophomore quarterback Michael Rocco (trunk)

Either that's a subtle dig at his lack of mobility or their quarterback is a tree. I plan on getting to the bottom of this by going back through some film to see if any squirrel nests go flying off him when he gets hit.