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How Not To Quit Your Coaching Job, By Todd Graham

Todd Graham spent one season at Pittsburgh and then decided to take the Arizona State job. He informed his players by text message. From a plane on the way to Tempe.

"I have resigned my position at Pitt in the best interest of my family to pursue the head coaching position at Arizona State," Graham said. "Coaching there has always been a dream of ours and we have family there. The timing of the circumstances have prohibited from telling you this directly. I now am on my way to Tempe to continue those discussions. God Bless. Coach Graham."

Earlier I was trying to think of ways to outdo this man's departure.

-- Disappear from campus in the middle of December, accept new job, go on two week vacation in Jamaica, send news back via twitpic from the beach. Maybe be drinking one of those drinks with a little umbrella too.

-- Announce your departure via a puzzle in the next Dan Brown novel, due out roughly two years after you've left.

-- Be Bobby Petrino.

-- A brief YouTube video of yourself pointing and nodding profoundly at another school's logo.

-- Run out the tunnel in week one like you normally do, but keep running all the way down the field, out the other side of the stadium, get into your car and peel out.