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New TechFit Uniforms Technically Don't Fit

I wondered about this as soon as I read that the new adidas uniforms were beltless. And don't get me wrong, I'm all for a future without belts. I figure we'll get to a point where our pants automatically adjust like that future jacket Marty McFly had to wear in 2015, which will be better for everyone involved since we won't have to bother with the belt's notch system and its judgmental self-evidence. And I give adidas credit for trying to push us into the future. It's another example of the "we can make these Nebraska uniforms that have been the same for 50 years" attitude that's kept them on the leading edge for years. Unfortunately, the technology is still catching up to the concept.

George Bryan said the new uniforms, which are made with adidas’ TechFit fabric and are beltless, felt good but there were some issues. "The pants were falling off a little bit and I had to tie them up," Bryan said. "We’ll fix that with some tape the next game. I’ll look like a ‘Pop Warner’ kid. Duct tape."

Below I've included a rendering of the new ensemble. (The mea culpa is on the back.)