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The Eyes Of Earl Wolff's Tattoo Are Upon You

I don't have any tattoos. I know many of you assumed I had some sort of permanent representation of an Excel spreadsheet on my person, but it is not true. Call me old fashioned, but my surface area is limited and I'm a bit particular. Which is not to say that I haven't considered what Earl Wolff decided to do.

As tempting as something like this might be, I can't help but imagine some bizarre future scenario that makes it inexplicable. What if there is no such thing as North Carolina in 40 years when you're explaining this to your grand children? What if State changes its nickname to "Cash Money All-Stars" after it joins the SEC in 2014? Then those eyes are just extra weird.

Okay, as for that no tattoos part, I was lying. Aside from a flaming basketball, I have the initials KH tattooed very close to my heart, right next to Tracy Smith's 2009 offensive rebounding percentage. Never forget.