What rhymes with Lacey?: The search for a nickname

Rob Kinnan-USA TODAY Sports

It's hard to overstate the level of play that Trevor Lacey has been demonstrating. I know it's only 11 games into the season, but his offensive production is hovering around NBA Jam levels of ridiculousness.

  • Trevor is knocking down 44% of his Three-point shots. (Scott Wood hit 44% of his 3's during his senior season.)
  • Trevor is knocking down 62% of his Two-point shots. (TJ Warren hit 58% of his 2's during his ACC POY season.)
  • He has the assist rate (24%) of a starting PG and the low turnover rate (11%) of a catch-and-shoot forward.

All that is crazy and impressive on it's own, but the way he is getting those numbers is what makes this man so amazing. He isn't running through screens taking open shots (55% of his 3's are assisted compared to 90% for Ralston Turner) or feasting on fast break opportunities (only 26% of his shots are at the rim and a crazy-low 19% of them are assisted). Trevor Lacey makes his own space any damn where he pleases. He basically has the shot selection of Javi Gonzalez but without all the missing.

So why doesn't he have a nickname? He's giving us so much, and all he asks in return (probably) is a solid nickname. Backing the Pack is known the world over as the forge in which great nicknames are, um, forged. Great nicknames like Macrowave, Captain Dick Beard, Cheeseball McYellswears, and Old Hickory were born right here on this blog. And yet nothing for Mr. Lacey. What a shame. It's time to correct this problem. It's time...........FOR THE POAPN LIST!

PROFILE OF A POSSIBLE NICKNAME official scientific criteria:

  1. Fit. Does the nickname fit the talents, behaviors, or physical characteristics of the player?
  2. Uniqueness. You know how every sports person with the last name "Rodriguez" has a nickname like A-Rod, L-Rod, or Rich-Rod? That's the kind of thing we are trying to avoid here. This rule does not apply to Man-Ram. I love Man-Ram.
  3. Awesomeness. I love a ridiculous nickname (see: CDB). Anything that makes me smile or will make my wife roll her eyes when I yell it during a game is going to do well here. Flow will come into play as well. I can't call a dude "HE WHO CARES NOT FOR YOUR DEFENSE!" because I would, by law, have to yell it every time the dude makes a tough shot. Actually, I think I could do that.

Each nickname will be awarded a score of 1-10 on each factor. Fit and Awesomeness count twice as much as uniqueness since they are harder to achieve. Now that we have some science in place, let's break down the current nominees.

POAPN #1: The Human Torch
This one came from Newclass and he has not been shy about promoting it's use.

  1. It certainly fits. The man is always on fire and needs no help heating up, though I'm not sure about Lacey's credit score. 9
  2. This is where we run into trouble. A quick Google search led me to about 10 million references to Stephen Curry. And to be fair, it fits that dude as well as anyone. 1
  3. It's cool, but it doesn't make me laugh and it's kind of wordy. 3

POAPN #2: Snake Eyes
This is kind of a joint effort. Thrillis4 suggested basing a nickname around the "silent assassin" characteristics of Lacey's game. PittsburghPackFan jumped in with everyone's favorite mute character on GI Joe.

  1. The ninja connotations are on point. However, Lacey is a killer and GI Joe are the single most inefficient fighting force in history in terms of shots fired/enemies killed (or dead even with the A-Team). What is the point of sweet moves and a bad-ass sword if you aren't going to run someone through? 4
  2. I don't know anyone in sports with that nickname. The phrase and the name are pretty common though so it has to be someone. 7
  3. It's not awesome in the scientific sense, but I could see myself yelling it loud enough to wake up a sleeping child. 4

POAPN #3: Stick Shift
MitchNC mentioned this was being considered on Twitter.

  1. So the justification for the nickname is that Lacey is clutch, and a manual transmission requires a clutch. He is also automatic, so should we call him the Torque Converter? 2
  2. I'm sure no one is called this. 10
  3. Can you picture yourself yelling "Stick Shift!" at a game and then getting a knowing glance and a high five from a stranger. Me neither. 1

POAPN #4: Colace
Omega is the proud father here.

  1. So you can be forgiven for not knowing what this is. Colace is medication that is taken by people with various bowl concerns. It's most commonly known as a stool softener. Check out these Youtube videos here and here. Weird huh? Omega says it fits because everything that Lacey produces is so damn smooth. I could see a wide range of scores being justified. 5
  2. 10
  3. You can yell it. It's weird as crap (pun intended). This is such a random and obscure item that you can know for sure that Omega has had to use this at some point in his life, possibly in suppository form. I'm smiling right now. 10

POAPN #5: Lacy
I'm coming in strong and riding a darkhorse. Lacey is the smoothest basketball player that NC State has had in a generation. He is so smooth and his shot is so pretty. "lacy" is a word that basically means smooth and pretty. We don't need to give this man a nickname because he was born with all the nickname he will ever need. Give it a try next time he steps back and drops a J on some dude's head. Just think to your self "so damn lacy".

  1. Come on. It fits. If his name was Harry Seaward and he was dropping this kind of game on people, wouldn't Lacy seem like a completely appropriate nickname? There are some frilly connotations that I'm not happy with though. There is nothing frilly about Trevor Lacey. 8
  2. I've never heard it as a nickname but it's a common word. 8
  3. It's not particularly funny or weird, but it works great as an exclamation. I also think I could work some kind of finger motion into things. Like, after he nails a shot I throw my hand up in the air like I just his a 3 and then wiggle my fingers in some kind of lacy pattern...don't judge me. 6

POAPN #6: D.W.I.G.T (Don't Worry, I Got This) I guess we are really doing this. Another one from Newclass that has garnered surprising levels of support from the BTP community.

  1. I would have believed it without hesitation if someone had told me that Trevor Lacey says this to his teammates several times per-game. He plays with composure and makes tough shots with absolute confidence. His teammates all seem to love him so I doubt it would come across as cocky. And I doubt it would cause the coaches to respond with, "What? OH LORD NO! YOU MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT HAVE THIS!" the way they probably would if, say, a Trevor Ferguson-type were to utter those words. 8
  2. It's completely unpossible that this is not unique in sports. However, the use of the word "Dwigt" in the Office episode about Micheal Scott's Threat Level Midnight screenplay has caused this to be used as an insult. At least by me yelling at my friend during a Thanksgiving flag-football game. 7
  3. Look, I love the film Threat Level Midnight as much as anyone and I agree that this would create a lot of opportunities for Office jokes. That's about all I can say about this one though. I can't yell "don't worry, I got this" after someone else hits a shot. And I don't think just using "dwigt" is a better option. How do you even pronounce that? 6

This is not meant to be a complete list. Feel free to list your suggestions below. Just make sure to show your work.