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Trimmer, more confident ACC arrives just in time for beach season

Streeter Lecka

The ACC on Thursday proved to the world that it had made good on its New Year's resolution to join a gym, showing off its new slim figure at a press conference from its lavish home in Greensboro, NC. The big reveal has been billed as the culmination of an extended and concerted effort to change for the better.

"For me, the biggest thing is that I feel better," the ACC said. "More prepared to handle challenges ahead. Whether it's next month or next year or whenever, and I walk into a meeting and I see B1G's there, or SEC's there, I'll have that extra spring in my step."

If fans of the league were asked their honest assessment, they probably would admit that the ACC had become increasingly bloated over the last decade, and it hasn't always been pretty to look at. While certain things may never go back to the way they were when the league was in its 20s, there was a palpable sense of renewed optimism emanating from the ACC on Thursday morning.

Information about the league's transformation had been difficult to come by in recent months, with little more than unverifiable hearsay making it through the league's extensive security efforts. Anticipation was understandably high as the press conference got underway, and the ACC got right to the point with a dramatic before-and-after photo unveiling to begin the proceedings.

As is typical of these sorts of reveals, the subject also had a brand new tan to show off.

The before shot:


And the after:


When asked about its motivations for such a significant change, the ACC was forthright in explaining the factors that ultimately led to this moment.

"I think I'd gotten complacent over the years," the ACC lamented "And I don't want to make excuses, but I've been busy lately--it's just that it's been a sit-down type of busy, you see.

"I don't know when it was exactly, but there was a moment of realization for me that something needed to change. Somewhere along the way I'd lost a true zest for being, but I made a promise to myself that I'd do everything I could to turn my situation around. I think I have."