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Bobby Petrino is cardboard football

Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

The one thing you can always count on from Bobby Petrino is his authenticity. The guy is nothing if not a straight shooter, and by straight shooter I mean "takes his mistress on a motorcycle ride and then gets into an accident and tries to claim he doesn’t know his mistress." What a human!

Take all of this at totally face value:

Petrino is human detritus, barely worth note, except he is pretty good at assembling an offense, and if you can set aside your cynicism—which any functional AD must do—you can have yourself a pretty good coach. For how long, nobody knows.

Petrino’s career is highlighted by his brief stint in the NFL, which ended so badly and abruptly, it is a miracle that it hasn’t defined him. It’s actually completely predictable that it hasn’t defined him. That’s how sports have to work because they insist that’s how they have to work, and you definitely can’t quibble over that stuff when you’re hiring a new head coach during a difficult transition period for the school.

Hiring Cardboard Magoo is raw football opportunism, and there is an argument for that because if you aren't openly defying the system, then what really is the point?

There should be a line around here somewhere, though, and we could start with a line called "Bobby Petrino, No One In The NFL Respects Me But My Mistress Still Loves Me." Maybe next time.