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Bowl Poll: Where? Against what opponent?

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Sorry, none of the above isn't an option.

Is Detroit that way?
Is Detroit that way?
Grant Halverson/Getty Images

Alrighty, folks. Now that we know NC State has lived to play another game this season, just what game will that be?

Shortly after State dispatched of UNC, one prognosticator noted the possibility of NC State getting together with its old pal Maryland in the armpit of the Earth that is Detroit, but that scenario isn't getting any traction with the experts. At first I threw up in my mouth a little at the idea of this rekindling of the flame with a former ACC foe, but what better way to gen up interest in a middling bowl game than to add infinite amount of hate and old grudges into the equation? I, for one, would welcome that matchup with open arms. Arms opened so wide, in fact, that they could almost wrap around Ralph Friedgen's fat fucking neck to choke him for 2010.

Sweet Jesus, 2010. TWO THOUSAND AND FREAKIN' TEN. Let's digress, shall we? The Pack enters the polls in week five only to lose at home to Virginia Tech. The Pack later lose on the road to a far inferior Eastward Carolina (sound familiar?). Alas, after beating Florida State the Pack are back in the polls and in the driver's seat for the conference championship! Then they lost to Clemson in the infamous punt game. TOB, why? You gutless wonder! Do the goddam Marines punt on 4th and one? No worries though. Consecutive wins over Wake and UNC meant that all the Pack, back in the polls at 21st, needed was a win over the Turdles to take the Atlantic and PLAY FOR A CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP. State jumped to a 14-0 lead only to lose spectacularly despite holding Friedgen's offense to nine yards rushing on the day. It was steadily downhill for TOB and the program after that soul crusher.

Okay, sorry. Enough of that business. Where are my pills?

What follows in the table below are the first eight bowl projections that came up on the Google when "college football bowl projections" was googled. As you'll note in the asterisk below, not all of these fine journalists have gotten around to a new round of projections, but since they rightly believed NC State would topple the Tar Heels to make it, we're going to use them anyway.

Source

Bowl

Opponent

SB Nation's Jason Kirk

Independence

Vanderbilt

CBS's Jerry Palm

Independence

South Carolina

College Football News

Military

Houston

ESPN's Brett McMurphy*

Independence

South Carolina

NBC's Bryan Fischer

Independence

South Carolina

247sports' Brad Crawford

Military

Houston

Campus Insiders' Dave Miller

Quick Lane Bowl

UT-San Antonio

Fox Sports' Stewart Mandel*

Independence

Ole Miss

*prediction made before this weekend's games; kudos for believing in us, fellas. However, Ole Miss did not warrant such belief and lost the Egg Bowl to finish 5-7. With the Rebels lacking a strong APR, you can probably ignore that bit of Ole Miss prognostication.

It looks like there are four possibilities, with the most likely scenario being a trip to the artist formerly known as the Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl to face South By God Cackalacky. Note that State opens against the Cocks in Charlotte next year, but I don't think that will factor in the Bowl Gods' decision making (though perhaps it adds a bit of intrigue for the respective fan bases). Vanderbilt is another possibility for the Shreveport-based bowl. The Military Bowl (sponsored by questionably legal drone strikes) against now coach-less Houston is an intriguing matchup. And then there's UTSA in Detroit sticking out like the proverbial turdle in the punch bowl. (See, I called the Terps "turdles" and then reused a similar childish pun here, creating a sort of framing of lame humor within which I've nestled the rest of this clownbloggery. And you don't even have to pay for this stuff.)

So, if you had your druthers (and if you do not, I suppose you're married! Ha! I'll be here all week. Try the veal), which of the four matchups would you prefer? Vote early and vote often.