Holy hell, y’all. While this offseason was one of the slowest in recent #goacc memory, the start of college football shot up #goacc to absolutely unprecedented levels. This might be one of the toughest choices you’ll have in the history of this column. So much happened that I can’t even include all of it without making this post like 30 choices long, so strap in y’all, this is going to be a fun one. We’ve also got some hysterical photoshops, a solid #suregrin winner, and as always, some wisdom from the world of wrasslin’. Let’s get right down to the vote. Which is your #goacc Moment of the Week? Vote below!
1. Let’s check in on Mike Glennon and...oh no (h/t @Deadspin).
This is sadly not the first time Mike has pulled this stunt. Really hoping he can find a way out of Tampa. With as much as the Vikings just gave up for Sam Bradford (which is spectacularly stupid in and of itself), Glennon’s agent should be working overtime to find him a better situation since it seems to be that NFL front offices will wildly overpay for literally ANY quarterback.
2. Has anyone at Sky Magazine ever actually been to a football tailgate? (h/t @jbarro).
There’s so much to unpack here. Clearly the person that wrote this column is telling on themselves when they list "competitive ACC games at Boston College." BC has lost 9 straight ACC football games! Also, "nothing is quintessential New England like college football?" Bruh, almost nobody in Boston gives two craps about Boston College, or for that matter any part of college football.
3. How did the Bronco Mendenhall era start at Virginia? (h/t @Mark_Schlabach).
Virginia lost 37-20 to Richmond, 2nd-worst loss by a Power 5 school to an FCS foe in last 10 years— Mark Schlabach (@Mark_Schlabach) September 3, 2016
Not great, Bob! This has gotta be one of the worst debuts at a Power 5 school for a brand new coach in a long long time (besides of course Charlie Weis at Kansas, but that was to be expected). To make matters worse...
Virginia, which lost to Richmond today by 17, also paid Richmond $375,000 for the game.— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) September 4, 2016
Wonder if Bronco is wishing he stayed at BYU now? (apologies for linking everyone to Rovell, but that just adds to the overall embarrassment for UVA).
4. The start of college football featured some spectacular juxtapositions of player names (h/t @SamuelLJackson and @SBNation).
If I wasn't feeling Football Fever already... NOW IT'S ON!!! Yeah MUPHUGGAUZZZZ!!! pic.twitter.com/iXqYcuAFbn— Samuel L. Jackson (@SamuelLJackson) September 3, 2016
If only that Wake Forest score had held at 3-0, we would’ve had another all timer for the scoreboard pictures. That would’ve been right up there with Beamer celebrating a 0-0 tie. Also, Samuel L. Jackson is just the damn best.
5. This UNC fan painted his face with Duke blue paint (h/t @armstrongabc11).
You went to all that trouble to wear a UNC visor with a preattached wig with a light blue shirt and still somehow managed to screw up the face paint completely? That’s spectacular.
6. Ireland does not give two craps about BC-GT (h/t @ksugiuraajc).
If anyone reading this is still over in Ireland and can find one of these shirts for sale, hit me up on Twitter. I will gladly Venmo someone for a Large because my lord this shirt is hysterical. Someone put as much effort into making sure this t-shirt was correct as BC did playing offense in the football game.
7. Boston College QB Patrick Towles has no regard for the line of scrimmage.
Sorry Patrick, but no amount of dedication to Harambe is going to allow you to legally attempt a forward pass beyond the line of scrimmage, but I’ll give you points for trying to make BC’s offense more creative.
8. The Daily Tar Heel wants a new student union at UNC, posts picture of Talley in their article.
Let me guess - you’re gonna be SHOCKED when I tell you that this didn’t sit well with some!
Let’s be honest though, I’d be jealous of Talley too. It’s understandable. That building is sensational.
9. Brent Musburger just ethered Bobby Petrino (h/t @THEKEYPLAY).
Holy hell, Brent on Bobby Petrino, "...When the man gets off his motorcycle, he is GOOD." pic.twitter.com/aYZKXp4XFN— THE KEY PLAY (@thekeyplay) September 4, 2016
I have nothing more to add to this. This is as savage it gets. Love that Musburger absolutely does not give two craps about what he says anymore. So great.
10. Ron Cherry ain’t moving out of the way for anybody (h/t @ChrisLHathcock).
Man BC haven’t y’all learned that nobody gets in Ron Cherry’s way? He ain’t got time for that noise.
the #suregrin award.
This week’s winner goes out to this Auburn fan, who took Cam Newton’s dab just a bit too far:
If the dab wasn’t already dead, it certainly is now.
The best photoshops of the week!
First, let’s start with Alabama’s destruction of Southern Cal, which couldn’t be better summed up than this edited video below:
FIVE-STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE KIFF pic.twitter.com/G12wivCmI4— SB✯Nation CFB (@SBNationCFB) September 4, 2016
That is just too perfect. Next, with the start of college football this year brings more and more creative Crying Jordans for each upset loss, and y’all did not disappoint. First, this one of LSU is brilliantly good:
The subtlety there is what makes that so damn hilarious. Next, the dudes over at @SportsChannel8 incinerated Oklahoma after their loss to Houston:
Oh, what a beautiful morning,— SportsChannel8 (@SportsChannel8) September 3, 2016
Oh, what a beautiful day
I've got a beautiful feeling
OU gets Crying MJ'd pic.twitter.com/BiBQX5HyFS
But, perhaps they saved their best work for jabbing ECU, who was cut from the list of expansion candidates by the Big XII:
Brutal. Absolutely brutal.
And now, for your moment of wrasslin’...
THE JIM ROSS BAH GAWD MOMENT OF THE WEEK!!
Returning to the LSU-Wisconsin game at Lambeau, good ol’ JR has some thoughts on the quarterback play of the Tigers. Take it away, JR!
See y’all next week! (Please lord let us beat ECU).