I’m getting back the important pregame scouting analysis this week after a bit of a hiatus. I didn’t do it last week and it’s fair to blame NC State’s lack of preparedness on me. I am truly sorry, but at the end of the day you can’t change the past but I’m putting that behind me and just trying to go 1-0 this week.
Eric Dungey — Iced Gurney
Since you can’t spell his name without the word gurney, I suppose we should have seen his injury-plagued career coming, huh.
Kyle Strickland — Dirk Clankstyle
Dirk Clankstyle is a way better name than Kyle Strickland. Does anyone really want to be a Kyle these days? I feel like Kyles are out right now. The Kyle brand is on the decline. On the other hand, many people are saying that Dirks have big-time panache.
Cameron Jordan — Major Ordnance
This would be a great football nickname, but probably only for defensive tackles or linebackers. Jordan’s a wide receiver, but if he lives in the weight room long enough, perhaps the dream can come true.
Abdul Adams — A Dumb Salad
“All right, it’s lunch time! Let’s see what we got. ... Aw, dammit, another Abdul Adams.” [slams fridge shut]
Antwan Cordy — Tawdry Canon
If Antwan had any questions about his post-football career, he can put them to rest. You know who establishes tawdry canon? Authors of romance novels, of course.
James Cherry — My Jars Cheer
You feelin’ okay there, James?
Andre Cisco — Scenic Road
Maybe not the best philosophy for a safety, but as a life motto, hey, not bad, Andre.