BTP The Offseason, Day 84: The sky’s a limiting factor

Well, it’s like they say, never send a locksmith to do a plane ... smith ... er ... designer guy’s job.

French locksmith Jacob Besnier manages to fly short distances using a flying machine which consists of two hinged paddles covered with fabric, circa 1678.

“Manages to fly short distances” seems an extremely generous description of Jake’s contraption here—if I jump off a small boulder, for instance, then technically I have managed to fly a short distance, no wings necessary.

Probably this was the result of a wager following a night at the pub. I don’t know how else you end up with a locksmith attempting to harness the fantastic lifting qualities of four shitty kites, all in an effort to make good on a lifelong vendetta against birds by taking the fight directly to them, which surely they would never expect.