BTP The Offseason, Day 86: What the heck is this

I have developed a coping mechanism for this country’s insanely bleak reality—random, often small things have begun triggering laughing fits that are completely unwarranted. I really got to get my brain in for a tune-up the moment all of 2020’s trauma passes. Should be roughly 2027, I figure.

Anyway, look at these goddamned stools. Hilarious, beautiful stools. This is the caption which is copy/pasted without alteration:

stools from Metro Madness, made by local artist Ellery Brown. The stools sell for $125 each, if one wants to provide his own persal items Brown will make the stools for $95 each

First of all, I would like about six of these, but they’re bar stools. And secondly, how is it only a $30 dollar discount if I supply the artist with the pants, shoes, and flannel shirt for this piece? Man, these sweet kicks alone were $32.99 at Payless, and I gotta watch my fourth-string pleateds get disfigured? This stool would be an incredibly tasteful accent to any room in my house, but damn, what a sacrifice to realize the vision.