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You forget about your heart

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Mark Dolejs-USA TODAY Sports

I'm as guilty as anybody else of succumbing to a full dose of rage-enhancing supplements (beer, Twitter, stupid people, etc.) during games. This leads to words I barf out but do not mean. It is ugly all around. Basically you should never watch sporting events live. Selfishly, it works; it satisfies my abstract requirements for any given game.

Sports as abstraction works only so far, though, and if you watch a post-game press conference from an NC State game this season, it's difficult to maintain the disconnect. As fans, we care a lot, and doggone it, we are having a hard time through all of this. But we don't live it.

Cat Barber, and Mav Rowan, and the Martin twins, and Malik Abu, and Lennard Freeman (who is quietly a fantastic player), and BeeJay Anya--they live this. It hit home for me on Saturday watching the post-game interviews, seeing Abu so deflated. It ain't supposed to be like this. But this is how it is.

It's tough to reconcile what you hope for, what you secretly expect, what you know is possible, and what really happens. This stuff can be difficult. Doesn't mean improvement down the road is a guarantee, but it doesn't mean you have to be isolated in this crappy moment, either.

I like this team a lot. They are 12-12 and 2-9 in conference play. That's where we are right now. It's a bummer. Go Pack.