NC State will gladly help UNC figure out into which region it should shove its national title signs

This stuff right here? This is the stuff. [breathes in deep] Man I love living in this state. This is a stupid, petty, useless, and hysterical waste of time and money that involves UNC, NC State, and the NC Department of Transportation. It’s not weird to write that sentence; it is not at all weird to me, as a North Carolinian, that I just wrote that sentence.

If you aren’t familiar with this story, here is the essence: UNC won a national title in basketball in 2017, and then decided to pay for eight highway signs commemorating this accomplishment, all of which were theoretically intended to establish North Carolina as a state that’s done stuff to people arriving within its borders. One of these signs happened to be placed along I-40 a few miles from PNC Arena, and it was quickly vandalized:

This winter, NCDOT erected eight signs along highways across the state to celebrate UNC’s win, under a new program that lets universities pay for roadside signs celebrating national sports championships. Only two of the signs were in the Triangle, and one of them — along eastbound Interstate 40 at the North Harrison Avenue exit in Cary — did not last long.

(And yet the “Cary Is This Way [thumb pointing to the right], Christ We’re Sorry” sign continues to stand.)

The flimsy reasoning for the placement of that sign was its proximity to the airport, but I mean, c’mon now, they knew what they were doing. (It was not very close to the airport.) The retaliation was inevitable and now we have reached this point, where idiots are smacking each other across the face with foam-padded nonsense, all in the name of well who cares we wasted money but who cares and no you care more, you care-ass.

This stupid state.