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Something Is Wrong With Some Of Our Football Players

Rob Kinnan-USA TODAY Sports

I'm noticing a theme here.

Out For Game:
Cole Borroughs - Lower Extremity
Brandon Mitchell - Lower Extremity

Questionable For Game:
Rob Crisp - Upper Extremity

What kinda hoser crap is this, Dave Doeren?

We have no idea what's wrong with anyone except Brandon Mitchell, whose injury has been detailed but is nonetheless listed among this vague grouping of extremity problems.

Making matters worse, a lower extremity is actually an upper extremity in the southern hemisphere. I think that's how that goes. So depending on which country Thursday's game will be played in, this injury report could be interpreted in any number of ways. We know nothing. NOTHING. Maybe one of Rob Crisp's arms fell asleep for a minute. There's just no telling.