The Weather Moose:
We seem to have reached that familiar point where a glimmer of hope finds its way past my barrier of darkness with respect to the football program. "Things can't be any worse than last year," they tell me. "Dave has his quarterback," say the analysts. I need the truth and there's no one else I know that will give it to me straight.
With that in mind, here are a few questions I hope you can help me with:
- Is Jacoby Brissett better than Garrett Leatham? And if so, will he make it past the first game without injury?
- How much beer, on a scale of Ned Flanders to Barney Gumble, should I plan to use to make it through game days?
- When I ran through the schedule, I had State finishing 7-5. Is that rational? Because I feel like I need medication.
- How do we get Dave Doeren to stop wearing ugly hats?
- Is the adage "It's not whether you won or lost, but how you play the game" true? Let's hope not.
I need someone to talk me back onto the ledge. Please?
I'm not going to lie, I'm actually excited about the season right now. I mean, that will probably be replaced by dread within the first quarter of the first game, but right now I'm picturing scenarios where the young guys show some promise and make strides this season while Brissett is a legitimate top half of the league quarterback.
But, as any Virginia fan can quickly tell you - it can get worse. Or at least, not better. And that fear remains stuck in the back of my mind because I remember needing a late field goal to beat Richmond and then not winning a game in the months of October or November. I remember getting blown out the following teams - Florida State, Maryland, East freaking Carolina.
1. I feel like you are trying to troll me by asking that question, as if you expect me to say something bad about Garrett Leatham. Well, that's not happening, but Brissett is better than either quarterback who started last season. That won't solve all of the offensive problems but I do expect the offense to be less 'oh God oh God my eyes' terrible.
2. Moe is gong to have to contact NASA to calculate your bar tab by the end of the season.
... but honestly if you got through last season without kidney failure or becoming an alcoholic you'll be finet his year.
3. I have them at 6-6, so yeah its rational. That schedule is the perfect kind of awful for a program at this stage in its development and a coaching staff that seems set on playing a lot of youth even if there might be somewhat better qualified veterans on the roster because its not so much about this season but a longer term outlook. This is absolutely the right approach to take, but it could also cost the Pack a close game or two when you add up all the 'rookie mistakes' this team will likely make.
4. Look, the hairline was already starting to go and I can't imagine the stress of going 3-9 is doing much to stop that progression. What I'm saying is, male pattern baldness is a disease and this is a real fight he's got on his hands right now. So let's cut him some slack.
To answer your question: Get Adidas to stop making so many ugly NC State hats.
5. Absolutely not. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. We are all stupider for having to read that quote.
Oh you want back on the ledge, sure. Here are the last five ACC coaches to start with a 4-win or worse opening season, excluding Duke because that just doesn't seem fair.
Jim Caldwell (2-9)
Mike London (4-8)
Butch Davis (4-8)
Randy Edsall (2-10)
Ron Vanderlinden (2-9)
I...don't quite know how to handle the optimism you're throwing out there. It's confirming my fear that I could let myself get too involved with this team too early. And I'll just end up lost in my feelings later. This happens every year, but last year at least extinguished the flame early.
The good news, I suppose, is that State will break a losing streak on Saturday. And hopefully not much more than that. I've now adjusted my beer budget based on your thoughts and have no advice for Doeren regarding his hairline; it's a battle I'm losing myself.
And I just cried a little when I looked at that list. Dear God. I had completely forgotten about Ron Vanderlinden at Maryland. There are two men on that list whose last names end with an 'n,' and that's enough for me to say that Dave Doeren will fall somewhere between Mike London and Vanderlinden and oh God please help.
As I type this, I'm becoming less and less optimistic. I have you to thank for that. Without you, I might have gone crazy, posting some nonsense on a message board about going undefeated. I might even have purchased an overpriced foam finger.
So thank you.
I think an overpriced foam finger is still a pretty good purchase decision. I mean, it has so many uses beyond just being 'that guy' at a football game. You can be 'that guy' at any sporting event now - especially once your kid starts playing organized sports. Imagine the possibilities, Moose.
But we are now just hours away from kicking off the actual season, and I'm legitimately excited. I watched Wake Forest on Thursday and there's just no way we are worse than Wake Forest, so I've upped my prediction to 7-5. Mediocrity, here we come!
What are your expectations for the first game? The spread is -21, so maybe a better way to ask this question is how do you expect Georgia Southern to cover that spread? And, since its you, I need an official prediction GIF as well.
Foam finger purchased. At least I think it was a foam finger. Can't be sure.
I watched Wake Forest until my eyes began to bleed. I already had that as a win, though, so it didn't change my prediction.
For the first game, I have to say I don't think Georgia Southern is very good. Of course, State's not all that great, either. However, I'd still expect State to win by 14 or so. Any less and you can begin to worry or continue worrying. Whatever the case may be.
Official GIF prediction?
A win, but probably not one I'm overly excited about.
For me, its continue worrying. Obviously.
Here's my GIF prediction, because I want to fit in. This is me slowly convincing myself this team is good as I watch the game even though its a transitioning FCS opponent
Thanks for talking this all out with me, Moose. Maybe we'll do it again next week. Maybe we'll kill it with fire.