Jaylen Samuels is No. 1

Take this, watch list voting-type people! Or don’t, it’s whatever. Jaylen Samuels is going to be wearing the No. 1 jersey this fall, which is an honor that goes to a team leader each season.

"JaySam shows up every day with the same work ethic, the same attitude and the same effort and he is an excellent leader for our team," said Doeren. "I'm proud that his teammates chose to honor him in this way."

What Doeren does not mention here is that a more slimming number (all due respect to the number 28, which is a fine number) is certain to decrease wind resistance and therefore lead to a substantial increase in touchdowns for Samuels this season.

Really that’s the point to this whole deal; the "leadership" bit is only a cover.