clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

The people are clamoring for more turnover bone

New, 67 comments
NCAA Football: North Carolina State at Virginia Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

After a triumphant debut in Charlottesville—an emergence so inspiring it achieved the propellant force of 50 pre-game speeches—Wolfpack fans everywhere are saying, “we need more of the turnover bone.”

This is our hero, and our king.

For long had we been deprived of the life-giving sustenance that is the turnover spree. Indeed, prior to Saturday, NC State had not forced four turnovers in a game since 2017. This is a long time to go hungry, while myriad others make the task seem a small, simple thing. Would no one or nothing emerge to lead us from this chasm of despair? Could there truly be no hope?

Our answer came seemingly from nowhere in the form of a large, painted-over dog bone. Even the truest of believers could not have foreseen this development, and yet here we are.

We can only assume that the bone will continue making regular appearances henceforth, particularly in times of great football trauma. Suddenly the future becomes a sunny place, knowing that this hallowed inanimate object will be there for all of us.