Last night’s NIL fundraiser in Raleigh left us with two important questions: who is this man, and what is his story?
Petition for Dave Doeren to wear the cowboy hat on the sidelines this season? pic.twitter.com/ElB3RtRf40— Cory Smith (@RCorySmith) July 20, 2023
I have narrowed it down to three options:
- He is Flush McGlockton, oil magnate. Born on the mean suburban streets of Midland, Texas, a young Flush McGlockton discovered that he could smell the crude hidden in the land from miles away. At 16, he was out back poking a rattlesnake with a stick when he was instinctively drawn to a particularly barren-looking spot of land, where for reasons he did not yet understand, he was compelled to stab at the ground. A dark liquid began seeping into the surface; he reached down, dabbed with a finger, and tasted it. “Oil. Hot damn.”
- He is Winston Mayflower, notorious turkey wrangler. It takes a certain type of man, from a certain part of the Tennessee mountains, to become Thanksgiving incarnate. Few have seen him; some insist he is myth. Others swear that if you know when to listen, you can hear a man skulking through the deep woods, lasso swinging at the ready.
- He is Joaquin Imbroglio, fighting injustice as an attorney for the working man, the voiceless, the poor. As he sashays around the court room, speaking in that trademark thick drawl, he weaves the law into priceless art, one astounding verbal incision after another. He asks nothing for these efforts, since for him, these efforts are nothing. Somehow the cameras, director, and uplifting soundtrack accompanying each case are sustenance enough.