Friends, please gather around as I explain this thing I just found out about five minutes ago that has become extremely important to me. It involves John Tesh. You, of course, know the Tesh. Of course you know the Tesh. You can’t not know the Tesh. That’s a freshman prerequisite. You’ve seen, you’ve heard, you know.
John Tesh went to NC State, but—and please be sure you’re sitting down—he never graduated. He actually never got the chance, because he was kicked out of school for forging a professor’s signature on an add/drop slip. (Note to the kids: Do not forge signatures. Unless you are a future John Tesh.)
Here, in his own words, Tesh describes the appalling circumstances of his ouster, on Chris Spatola’s SiriusXM radio show:
After hearing this, I was both shocked and furious, and so my offseason purpose became clear. This man wrote “Roundball Rock,” for god sakes. He has always been one of us.
And so I hereby demand that NC State forgive John Tesh his sin and award him an honorary degree. This is long past due, though I did not know it until several minutes earlier this evening. It’s time to pardon John Tesh.